


something inside me (awakening)

by absolutelyamethyst



Series: Star Wars One-Shots [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), and the force, author really likes italics, but that's fine, feelings: an au, for the emphasis, i don't know what it is at this point, okay real tags now, poe has feelings, that's the au part, this started out as a finn one-shot but became something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22343284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolutelyamethyst/pseuds/absolutelyamethyst
Summary: in the belly of the Falcon, Finn feels a light go outPoe is doing too much all at onceand Rey? Rey is living, breathing, surviving, they all are, one step, one breath at a time.
Series: Star Wars One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624975
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27





	something inside me (awakening)

_ Gone.  _

The feeling hits him suddenly and powerfully, almost sending him to the ground. He falters, slumps against the wall and looks up as the sensation washes over him. Emptiness. Cold. It’s like a light goes out--flickers, then dims, and he’s left standing in the Falcon, lonely, shivering. 

“Finn?” Jannah asks, her voice trembling and her eyes wide as she enters his peripheral. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s Rey,” he forces out, “she’s…”  _ Gone, and I never got to tell her I… _

_ Rey, I think...I think I’m like you… _

“Finn.” Jannah grabs his shoulder, powerful grip jarring him out of his panic. “It’s going to be okay,” she says. “Rey is going to be fine.” 

“No, you don’t- you don’t get it. She’s gone.” He stumbles over the words, his throat tightening as reality sets in.  _ Gonegonegonegone- _

“How do you know?” 

“A feeling.” The words are familiar. Jannah’s eyes widen, narrow as the weight of his words sets in. 

“A force,” she finishes, “you-  _ Finn, _ ” she gapes at him, and he shies away from the awe blooming on her face because he doesn’t  _ deserve  _ it, he’s... _ him,  _ very Not Rey and...

“I never got to tell her.” His throat unexpectedly tightens and he finds himself shutting his eyes to prevent a cascade of tears from falling down his cheeks. The despair he feels is overwhelming. Jannah stays near him, wordlessly keeping her hand clamped over his shoulder. Her presence grows sharper, brighter as the seconds pass, and eventually, he can breathe again. Jannah is close. He’s not alone. Rey is--

_ Rey?  _

Rey is a fierce light, dimmer than he’d like, but  _ alive,  _ and the change is so instantaneous that he’s nearly knocked over by the power of it. Rey. Was dead. But now she’s  _ alive.  _ And he senses...sadness within her, and pain, but she’s alive and that’s all he needs, and maybe that’s selfish but he doesn’t  _ care-- _

“Finn?” Jannah stands with him. Guides him. She’s a mess of feelings, and that’s...his fault, definitely. He worried her. Unintentionally. He’s a  _ mess,  _ stars...

“It’s gonna be okay,” he says, and believes it, for the first time all day. 

~

Weeks after the attack, wounds are healing. The base is repaired, and so are most of the ships that were so badly damaged in the final attack. Everything is going exactly the way Poe wants it, and yet, he’s restless. 

It’s not a completely foreign feeling--the opposite, actually. He’s a pilot, pilots don’t just sit on their hands and procure orders, sign documents. Pilots  _ fly.  _ He misses flying. Too bad he’s so busy-

“Poe.”

“Finn!” He whirls around, heart hammering, hands sliding idly to his lap, to his hair, to somewhere-- _ anywhere-- _ to hide the fact that Finn just scared the  _ living daylights  _ out of him. 

“Have you seen Rey?”

“Uh.” He stalls. Has he seen Rey? Has anyone seen Rey? “No?” Rey, with her strange, distant glances and quiet pauses, Rey, slipping away to silent spaces, away from everyone. “No, haven’t seen her. I-” he pauses, sarcastic quip dying on his lips as something  _ pulses  _ from Finn’s direction, a whisper of feeling, red and...angry. 

“Poe?” The feeling  _ warps,  _ turning bluer, drifts into his mouth, probes his tongue with a sharp, steely taste, almost electric. Worry. The intensity of it scares him. He blinks until the sensation goes away, and Finn’s face sharpens, eyes narrowing in on Poe. “Poe. Are you okay?” 

“Y-” he swallows. His throat is tight, heart still beating fast, and he’s confused now, more than normal, a gentle throb building in the nape of his neck. “Yeah. ‘m fine.” It’s a horrible lie and he knows it. Finn knows it too, he can see it, but he doesn’t ask any more questions.

When Finn turns, the red is back. Poe stares hard at Finn’s shoulders, analyzing. It doesn’t make sense, what he’s seeing, but the more he looks, the harder his head throbs, and eventually he’s forced to shut his eyes. Blink.  _ Breathe.  _

_ What the  _ kriff  _ was that, anyway?  _ He runs a hand through his hair, waits a moment before opening his eyes.  _ I need sleep.  _

That’s it, he’s sleep-deprived. A natural thing, probably, a consequence of everything he’s done in the past few weeks.  _ Yeah,  _ he gets back to work, reactivates his datapad and reabsorbs himself in statistics, graphs, and charts.  _ Sleep-deprived, that’s all. I’m fine. _

_ ~ _

Miles away, in the middle of the forest, Rey shivers, attention pricked by something fluttering just out of her reach. 

_ The Force. An awakening.  _

_ ~ _

When they come together again, Poe blinks. It’s like seeing for the first time--whatever that feels like--and the way Finn and Rey  _ glow  _ is unnerving and amazing all at once. Finn is a soft blue, Rey a pale gold. They’re both so bright it takes Poe several moments to see that Finn and Rey are staring at him too. 

“You-”

“No way-”

“ _ What?”  _

And maybe, maybe Poe isn’t kind like Finn, or as fierce as Rey, maybe he’s somewhere in the middle, just trying to  _ survive,  _ but standing here, arm in arm with his comrades, his  _ friends,  _ there’s no denying the feeling in his gut, the warmth that spreads to his chest and melts throughout his entire body, simmers until he’s relaxing, breathing,  _ living,  _ and there’s nothing on his mind but hope. Peace.  _ Family.  _

This is what it means to survive. 


End file.
